Regret+Loneliness=

I wish he knew me as well as I know myself so he could know how much this hurts. How Im fiening for my cape to come rescue you from your conscious. But I felt like it needed to be said. The things said, will haunt me. They were the coldest things I've ever relayed to another person. Passed a baton covered with the blistering temperatures of bitterness. Beads of angry sweat frozen over layers of filth from feeling dirty with regret. I wish he knew that I can't sleep. All I can do is stare at my phone and pray for strength. Someone call him and tell him how I'm sick. Back hurts, head hurts, stomach feels nausea. My body's breaking down from the thought of letting go. Someone call my baby and tell him that I love him. But hate is a vicious and nosey neighbor that keeps dropping by. If I keep at this, I'll join forces with the family next door and destroy you. I love you too much to let my hate hurt you. I wish some ancient spell would be cast upon him and turn him into a fly on the wall. Easedropping would be so appreciated right now. To show you the things I never had the courage to expose. Tell him that everything is a reminder of him and this hurts so much that the few tears I have left carve moats at the corners of my eyes looking to escape the drought and rebuild. My throat's been tight and my chest is lit on fire. I have no strength in me to stay or go. So please tell him that I'm here. In the same place. Paralegic and slipping into depression. Let him know I'll hold him if he needs to cry too.  

Peace. Love. Happiness. Music